Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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