nut hugger
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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