I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
