spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
