don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
