Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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