the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He shit in the fireplace
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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