I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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