I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
