what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
