Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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