Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
