before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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