i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
