You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
