you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just want to make out with him forever
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
