Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
