booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The power of my boobs compel you
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
