Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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