Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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