that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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