Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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