You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Please tell me why Iām standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor š¤¦āāļø
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