It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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