Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize