There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
