these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
