I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
