i would punch a child for taco bell
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
