the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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