We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
