Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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