If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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