just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
