i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
