I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
