Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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