...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
