By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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