Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
