went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
