he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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