My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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