I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
