yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Shame is for Republicans.
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