After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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