We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
