Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
