I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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