Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
