I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
