No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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