I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
