I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
