I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
