...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
