its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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